If I could I would work 20 hours a week, be super poor, and do all the fun things that I love to do. I'd have all the flexibility in the world, and be completely happy. All you two-jobbers out there amaze me. That is not something I would ever want to put upon myself. Never will I submit myself or my time to the position of holding two jobs... except for this one week.
I'm currently in transition from going from Starbucks to Trader Joe's, and the working is overlapping by one week.
Shoot me now.
Yesterday I got to enjoy my first day at Trader Joe's at a not-so-bright and early hour of 5am. After getting off work at 130pm I made my way right over to Starbucks where I worked a full shift from 2pm-10pm. That's allotah work, dude. But it gets better.
The next morning I oh-so enjoyed waking up at 4am to start my second day at Trader Joe's at 5am for another hearty eight-hour shift (no Starbucks to follow.. thank the heavens above).
But oh, it get's better.
Errit. Rewind. When I first scheduled my interview I actually forgot the day it was scheduled for about five minutes after I hung up the phone with the person. Awesome. I had to call back later to find out when my interview was scheduled for.
tirrE. Fast forward. Yesterday, when I showed up for my "first day" everyone was acting funny around me for a few minutes until I was approached to be told that I actually wasn't supposed to start until the next day. Oh, wait, you mean that brain thing up there is for storing useful and important information such as really essential things about when I'm supposed to be interviewed and start a new job? Why did they hire me again?
Because I work 23 hours in two days and don't complain about it, bitches. Okay. Sorry. When my eyelids start to shut down, the gloves come off, the vulgarity comes out. Deal with it, bitches.
Just kidding ;)
Anyway. Now I'm going to transition this from saying vulgar words to talking about Jesus. It's a big leap. Live a little (I should be telling that to myself for the last 48 hours of my life I just lost spending most of it clocked into a time-punch, answerin' to Tha Maan.)
Back to Jesus.
Yesterday when I had about four hours left of my working day I was about to lose it. I was trying to multitask with little to zero brain power, and then a poor new-hire got stuck with me to train him on Drive Thru while I was being the miserable, sad little girl that I was. Whaaaa. No coffee in the world could give me enough energy for this. But I pushed through, so, so, so in love with my bed when I got to un-gracefully trip into it when I finally got home to take a nice long nap in the middle of the night before my long morning at TJ's the following day, my "first day", right? Serious run-on sentence.
This morning, going in for that last, long full shift at TJ's I was summoned to go work with Cindy in Flowers for the morning. From 5am to 830am Cindy and I talked and arranged flowers. I unpacked the most beautiful calla lilies, orchids, sunflowers, marigolds, and savored the aromas of the potted herbs. My whole morning zipped by in a joyful, sensual chapter. As soon as my fingers grazed the edges of those velvet flowers I felt the Lord taking care of me. I prayed all week that I would survive these long few days. On the home-stretch God pairs me up with the flowers and says, "I take care of you, Sarah". I was energize by the life, the colors, and the beauty. All my senses were adrift, thinking mostly about a fluffy bed, probably. At 5am this morning they came together and were brought to life.
I was struck by how fragile those flowers seemed... and were, really, but how resilient they actually were with the help of a little water, sun, and love. I felt like those flowers in a lot of ways today.
They thanked me for taking care of them by giving me life.
And I thank my God for taking care of me by being a part of his body and taking joy in his creations, including the people around me, and those colorful flowers.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Beatus and praus
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Yesterday morning I woke up and read the Beatitudes. The term comes from the Latin word Beatus, which sort of translates to Blessed. Fortunate, blissful, happy. Here, Jesus presented to us an ideal for Christianity that has more to do with compassion and and love. These are the values that Christ cares about out.
Blessed are the meek.
This one stood out to me.
They shall inherit the earth.
It's easy to read the Bible and take some of it in literally, and some as some sort of figure of speech that really means something else. I'm really no expert on these ancient times, their ways of speaking, the translations, the culture. Often times I can get left in confusion, so I take a little in at a time.
But here I find myself reading:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Jesus probably doesn't clump these things together with some of them having just a spiritual meaning, and some just having a literal meaning. It's got to be one or the other. Most all of these beatitudes can be said literally. We shall be called sons of God, and we will be in the Kingdom of Heaven, we'll receive mercy. All these things I learned growing up in Sunday school.
But what about inheriting the earth? That one is a little different. If the rest are to be heard literally, then this one should too. How do we take literal inheriting the Earth? What does that mean? Is it going to matter one day when the Christ returns to us to take us home. Home, I have often hoped, is much like this earth we live on, this beautiful place He made. Maybe it is this earth, restored to what it was meant to be.
Will the meek inherit the earth in the days to come before Christ returns to us? Will the meek inherit the earth after Christ returns to us? Will heaven be here on earth? I understand that we should be stewards of the earth and take care our planet here, but how does inheriting the earth compare to the rest of these beatitudes? If we follow these beatitudes we can see God, have the Kingdom of Heaven, receive mercy, be satisfied with our hunger towards righteousness. These are very literal, and spiritual-based things. Inheriting the earth is a much more tangible thing than the rest, and if it were meant to be spiritual as well, how does that work? How do we spiritually inherit the earth?
Now let's talk about what meek means. From the Greek word praus, it was used to refer to domesticated animals. Not wild animals. Powerful domesticated animals like oxen, who serve great purpose. Meek, we could say, means strong and in control. Not weak or passive. I read somewhere that "the meek see God, and they see God in everything." Truly. He is in the world around us and the people around us just as an artist is in all of his artwork. So we can be comforted that, although the wicked occupy this world for a time, God is in all things around us. God is in beauty and truth.
To become meek, we must take a sense of belonging of the earth, but only through God, as all things are His. We must be humbled by his presence in these things. When I think of meek, now, I think of a mountain man: living off the earth, taking care of what is around him, respecting the power of nature, as well as the beauty delicacy of it all. Living with it, not living on it, or despite of it.
I want to be meek. I want to inherit the earth. I want to be an advocate for this creation we live in.
Still, when I take it apart I understand it more. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. But I still have questions that go along with this beatitude. I don't need answers always. The desire is to be meek. God will take care of the rest.
"...Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body and what you will put on. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?... Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Yesterday morning I woke up and read the Beatitudes. The term comes from the Latin word Beatus, which sort of translates to Blessed. Fortunate, blissful, happy. Here, Jesus presented to us an ideal for Christianity that has more to do with compassion and and love. These are the values that Christ cares about out.
Blessed are the meek.
This one stood out to me.
They shall inherit the earth.
It's easy to read the Bible and take some of it in literally, and some as some sort of figure of speech that really means something else. I'm really no expert on these ancient times, their ways of speaking, the translations, the culture. Often times I can get left in confusion, so I take a little in at a time.
But here I find myself reading:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Jesus probably doesn't clump these things together with some of them having just a spiritual meaning, and some just having a literal meaning. It's got to be one or the other. Most all of these beatitudes can be said literally. We shall be called sons of God, and we will be in the Kingdom of Heaven, we'll receive mercy. All these things I learned growing up in Sunday school.
But what about inheriting the earth? That one is a little different. If the rest are to be heard literally, then this one should too. How do we take literal inheriting the Earth? What does that mean? Is it going to matter one day when the Christ returns to us to take us home. Home, I have often hoped, is much like this earth we live on, this beautiful place He made. Maybe it is this earth, restored to what it was meant to be.
Will the meek inherit the earth in the days to come before Christ returns to us? Will the meek inherit the earth after Christ returns to us? Will heaven be here on earth? I understand that we should be stewards of the earth and take care our planet here, but how does inheriting the earth compare to the rest of these beatitudes? If we follow these beatitudes we can see God, have the Kingdom of Heaven, receive mercy, be satisfied with our hunger towards righteousness. These are very literal, and spiritual-based things. Inheriting the earth is a much more tangible thing than the rest, and if it were meant to be spiritual as well, how does that work? How do we spiritually inherit the earth?
Now let's talk about what meek means. From the Greek word praus, it was used to refer to domesticated animals. Not wild animals. Powerful domesticated animals like oxen, who serve great purpose. Meek, we could say, means strong and in control. Not weak or passive. I read somewhere that "the meek see God, and they see God in everything." Truly. He is in the world around us and the people around us just as an artist is in all of his artwork. So we can be comforted that, although the wicked occupy this world for a time, God is in all things around us. God is in beauty and truth.
To become meek, we must take a sense of belonging of the earth, but only through God, as all things are His. We must be humbled by his presence in these things. When I think of meek, now, I think of a mountain man: living off the earth, taking care of what is around him, respecting the power of nature, as well as the beauty delicacy of it all. Living with it, not living on it, or despite of it.
I want to be meek. I want to inherit the earth. I want to be an advocate for this creation we live in.
Still, when I take it apart I understand it more. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. But I still have questions that go along with this beatitude. I don't need answers always. The desire is to be meek. God will take care of the rest.
"...Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body and what you will put on. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?... Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Bikes and Bodies
Two summers ago I decided to let this boy I knew wisk me away to Branson to be his girlfriend. I had everything on my back. My travel pack was stuffed full of everything I needed (and probably more than what I needed). I had been living in Central California with few responsibilities, less money, and nowhere to be. It turns out it's a lot easier to live without a car out West than it is in Southwest Missouri, so one day Aaron found some bikes on craigslist for me, fixed one of them up, and once again I was mobile. I first got on it and wobbled around a bit, unsure of where the height of the seat should be, afraid to turn a corner too sharp, scared of steep hills. Guy, my childhood neighbor, taught me how to ride when I was five years old. I spent many childhood years riding my bike to the candy store and to the park. It had been awhile, though, and it felt like it was going to take some good practice to get back into the rhythm of this riding-my-bike thing. I struggled up small hills (emphasis on the small), yet braved my way through the streets of Branson in the rain or shine. When I say braved, I mean it. Bransonites aren't exactly used to anyone riding their bikes on the streets. Most of them had no idea what to do with themselves when they found me peddling away off to the right of the lane. But for the sake of my freedom, I endured.
Soon enough I found riding my bike to be some of the most enjoyable moments in my day. I loved leaving my neighborhood on my way to work and passing the RV park next to the lake, shaded and content, old men playing guitar under their awning lit with chili pepper lights. I dreamed and hoped that one day my future husband and I would be a happy old RV couple with chili pepper lights. Laugh. But it's true.
On my way home from work it was usually dark. The humid night air felt refreshing on my bare skin after changing out of my work clothes and into bicycling clothes. My headlamp dimly lit my path in front of me as I headed home and down the hill towards the RV park, once again. A wall of cold air would hit suddenly when I neared the lake, and my soul was filled with joy.
That bike brought me freedom and joy.
Fast forward a bit.
January 2011: It was horrible. I lost my nephew, my first love left forever on a train, my car broke down, I was broke (all within the same week, mind you). So I moved to Champaign on whim. I had a fever and a sore throat the morning I left to catch the train from the Burbs down to Central Illinois. It was 4am and blizzarding outside. I had a garbage bag and a backpack full of what I needed to get settled but barley had the strength in my body to hold on to it all. Once got moved into Kati and Jeremy's spare bedroom I was going to bed at 8:30 on a nightly basis; My heart was deeply sad.
I finally decided to make a special trip up to Chicago to pick up my beloved bike. My baby. My freedom. I took her everywhere. I fixed her up, gave her new handlebar tape, protected her from the elements, and rode her around town like nobodies business. Once again, she gave me freedom.
My nightly bike rides back from work started to liven my soul and invigorate me once again. Endorphins were flying all over the place! I felt alive. My body loved it, my soul loved it, and I'm pretty sure the environment loved it.
Relying on my bike brought me out of deep pit of sadness. I truly think things would have been different if I hadn't been dependent on her.
Once again, now, back here in Illinois, my bike saves my soul. Coming from a place in Colorado where I was surrounded by beauty, adventure, and freedom, I'm now surrounded by stoplights, cars, and beauty salons. Escape comes but two blocks away from my front door where the Prairie Path begins. I can follow it towards marshes, forests, little lakes, and most recently... Wisconsin.
I have come from struggling up teeny little hills in the road to feeling like my bike is now just another appendage of mine. How amazing is it that we can fit whatever we need on the backs of those things, and they roll with us? Bigger adventures are yet to come. Perhaps one day I'll even get rid of my little Abigail Von Wedge and seek to live with only Abigail Von Bike. Ride Across Illinois? Down the Pacific Coast? Across the Country? Around the world?
I am inspired and invigorated. That bike carries me through and away from hard times, and into adventure and freedom.
What a truly wonderful blessing it has been that my car was stolen three years ago in January. That one incident continues to shape my life. Without that, none of the following years would have evolved as they did.
Our bodies are strong and AMAZING things. God has gifted us with these amazing bodies. Treat it well, do with it what you love to do. Get drugged up by those endorphins. They're life savers.
Remember, though, our bodies and minds are linked together. So much of it is mental. If you think you can, you can. I truly believe that. Tell yourself that you're amazing. You are.
This is a great link:
Women on Wheels
Soon enough I found riding my bike to be some of the most enjoyable moments in my day. I loved leaving my neighborhood on my way to work and passing the RV park next to the lake, shaded and content, old men playing guitar under their awning lit with chili pepper lights. I dreamed and hoped that one day my future husband and I would be a happy old RV couple with chili pepper lights. Laugh. But it's true.
On my way home from work it was usually dark. The humid night air felt refreshing on my bare skin after changing out of my work clothes and into bicycling clothes. My headlamp dimly lit my path in front of me as I headed home and down the hill towards the RV park, once again. A wall of cold air would hit suddenly when I neared the lake, and my soul was filled with joy.
That bike brought me freedom and joy.
Fast forward a bit.
January 2011: It was horrible. I lost my nephew, my first love left forever on a train, my car broke down, I was broke (all within the same week, mind you). So I moved to Champaign on whim. I had a fever and a sore throat the morning I left to catch the train from the Burbs down to Central Illinois. It was 4am and blizzarding outside. I had a garbage bag and a backpack full of what I needed to get settled but barley had the strength in my body to hold on to it all. Once got moved into Kati and Jeremy's spare bedroom I was going to bed at 8:30 on a nightly basis; My heart was deeply sad.
I finally decided to make a special trip up to Chicago to pick up my beloved bike. My baby. My freedom. I took her everywhere. I fixed her up, gave her new handlebar tape, protected her from the elements, and rode her around town like nobodies business. Once again, she gave me freedom.
My nightly bike rides back from work started to liven my soul and invigorate me once again. Endorphins were flying all over the place! I felt alive. My body loved it, my soul loved it, and I'm pretty sure the environment loved it.
Relying on my bike brought me out of deep pit of sadness. I truly think things would have been different if I hadn't been dependent on her.
Once again, now, back here in Illinois, my bike saves my soul. Coming from a place in Colorado where I was surrounded by beauty, adventure, and freedom, I'm now surrounded by stoplights, cars, and beauty salons. Escape comes but two blocks away from my front door where the Prairie Path begins. I can follow it towards marshes, forests, little lakes, and most recently... Wisconsin.
I have come from struggling up teeny little hills in the road to feeling like my bike is now just another appendage of mine. How amazing is it that we can fit whatever we need on the backs of those things, and they roll with us? Bigger adventures are yet to come. Perhaps one day I'll even get rid of my little Abigail Von Wedge and seek to live with only Abigail Von Bike. Ride Across Illinois? Down the Pacific Coast? Across the Country? Around the world?
I am inspired and invigorated. That bike carries me through and away from hard times, and into adventure and freedom.
What a truly wonderful blessing it has been that my car was stolen three years ago in January. That one incident continues to shape my life. Without that, none of the following years would have evolved as they did.
Our bodies are strong and AMAZING things. God has gifted us with these amazing bodies. Treat it well, do with it what you love to do. Get drugged up by those endorphins. They're life savers.
Remember, though, our bodies and minds are linked together. So much of it is mental. If you think you can, you can. I truly believe that. Tell yourself that you're amazing. You are.
This is a great link:
Women on Wheels
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