As the leaves dip themselves into colors of passion,
so does my passion come alive.
As the sky lowers and deepens with melencholy,
so does my joy come alive.
As the Earth turns,
As the Earth changes,
As the seasons sadden beneath the sky,
Still I am His, and He is mine.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Divinity.
Bad attitude. That is what I have had for the last two weeks. A serious bad attitude. Some people saw it and others couldn't even tell, but inside I was screaming. Have you ever been to Ed Debevic's in Chicago? It's that restaurant where the servers are mean to you. It's a novelty here. It's a thing and people love it. I so wish Trader Joe's could have been an Ed Debevic's of sorts. I would have been in prime condition for a job like that.
Instead I bit my tongue and smiled. Smile.
Joy, though, joy is there even in my unhappiness. It rests upon me and seeps through me. It's the joy from my Lord, and I thank Him times a million for it. He knows my every need, and He knows just how to provide what I need with impeccable timing.
This week I was supposed to be in Moab, Utah doing adventurous things feeding my soul in the ways I thought my soul needed feeding. I was going to be on the open road again pushing my body to new limits and feeling hella good about it. Then, something kind of crappy happened. I felt that tinge, that gut instinct which I actually now refer to as God (because, well, that's who puts that there) tell me not to go. No Moab! I couldn't wait to go to Moab. I love the desert, and I love riding my bike, and I love road trips and hostels and new people! Also, the man who quit money lives outside of Moab. Finding him may or may not have been on my list of things to do. Okay it was. I was going to stalk him like I stalk everyone who owns a Westy. I can't help myself. But I knew there was no stalking to be had ever sine I listened to that inkling and cancelled my Moab trip.
Pray for something else, God said. I think that's the first time (or at least the first time I realized) God nudging me to pray for something like that. I didn't hesitate. I prayed every day for something to take the place of Moab because I needed it. I desperately needed it.
A couple of weeks went by when Kimberly told me about at art conference called Story that she had been accepted to volunteer for in the city nestled right in those days I had requested off work for Moab. Kimberly couldn't make the conference happen even though she really wanted to, and worked it out to where I could volunteer for her and go to the conference for free.
Even when the day came, I hopped on the train to the city and settled into my hostel, I had no idea what I was doing. Ben Arment, the director of Story, had a little huddle with us all the night before the conference started to tell us a bit about how things were going to work. I listened very intently; I wasn't even sure what my job was on the day I started working it. What I ended up doing was one of the most life-giving things I could have been involved with at Story.
Story is an art conference for Christians. There are Christian speakers and the whole thing is centered around Christ and around art. I hesitate to say Christian art, though. I don't even think that's a thing. Actually, I can save that for another blog post. Everything was beautiful there. The artwork, the performers, the music. I cannot even begin to describe the artistry that went into creating this event. Every piece of it was for the glory of God, and I think that's a lot of what made it so beautiful to me.
Anne Lamott was there speaking, too! I love her books, her voice, her writing, her raw self. She's inspiring and she was there. That would be my highlight, I thought. Anne would be my highlight, and my hostel alone-time would be my highlight. The part in-between sessions where (this was my job) I had to try and connect with the people who came to Story alone was going to drain me too much. I was scared that I wouldn't come through and that I would be a disappointment to the team. So I prayed for God to fill me what what I needed to succeed in this place.
Wow, did He fill me. Remember how God knows exactly what we need and exactly how to fill that need with perfect timing? That is what happened in these three days I spend in Chicago. The speakers were not my highlight. The alone-time was not my highlight. My highlight was connecting with the beautiful people and the amazing minds of the people who came from around the WORLD to meet together in this place for Story. Finally I was surrounded by like-minded people. I had forgotten that God made me an artist, and while I was off trying to be an athlete He was begging me to remember that I am, yes, an athlete, but I am also so much an artist. He has been begging me to create.
But God doen't just fill you. No, He doen't stop at the fill line by any means. He looks at that fill line and says, "I can fit so much more in there, and then I'll just let it flood out". Floods. Floods of blessings.
The encouragement I received from Ben, the director, and the fellow volunteers at story gave me tears. The people I met gave me hope that there are others like me out there in a place where I have felt so alone.
And then Timbre. First of all, look her up. She's an amazing harpist and a beautiful soul. I met Timbre in line for ice cream at the end of the Story conference. We talked for a minute but I couldn't concentrate on what we were talking about; this thing inside me kept telling me to ask her something, but I felt stupid asking her out of the blue. I wanted to ask her if she knew anyone out in Seattle... so I did. I rattled off names of people I knew out there. I didn't know if this girl had ever been to Seattle, I didn't know if this girl would think I was joking when I started saying random travel names, but I took a chance and to my GREAT joy Timbre knew every person I named off and had traveled with them. Only a very dear person knows people with names like Okiedoke and Cricket. We have more friends in common than we realized. She and I were shocked and pleased and giddy with excitement about our connection. What a weird thing to happen.
We talked and talked, and suddenly Timbre asked if I had vivid dreams. Vivid dreams? Yes, actually, I often have vivid dreams. "Sarah," she said, "I feel like the Lord wants me to tell you a few things", so Timbre went on to give me encouragement in things she had no idea I was doubting myself in. She prayed for me in ways that no one would have known to pray for me in. She lifted me up in the spots that no one knew I felt most weak in. And she told me things that only God would know.
This is the truth: God speaks through us in art, in affection, in feelings, but also in words from other people. Prophets? Yeah, they're you and me. They're Timbre. They are the people who are open to God enough to hear what God has to say and bold enough to repeat it.
There are a lot of things that are uplifting and beautiful that you can find in the secular world. There are a lot of ways to feel blessed. But to be open to and living in God's spiritual world as well has got to be the most incredible thing. The way that Timbre came into my life at that time, and the things she said was truly only something God could have orchestrated. Even as you read this and think "that's cool" or maybe you think, "that's creepy", I don't know, I will never be able to express how deep a joy it gives me.
He knows the depths of your heart, and He knows just how to weave together a tapestry of experiences that please you in a way no one would understand. He wants to give you an experience that is specialized to you. It's frustrating for me in a way not to be able to get anyone to understand how much joy that interaction brought to me, but it also feels so special because it's one of those things that God only understands. It's between me and Him. It's our thing. Timbre won't even know the depths of what that moment did for me. That is something you don't get without a God. And when I get to experience those things I know there is Divinity at work around us all the time.
Mike and I walked in the dark, chilly, Chicago rain to our bus that would take us to the Metra. I just met Mike that day but I had the greatest four, five, six, however long it was that it took us to get from Park Church to the Suburbs via feet, bus, and train. It was a long time. Between singing DC Talk, quoting Homestarrunner, and experiencing the out-of-control homeless man throwing things at the windows from outside the station, it flew by too fast. What a top-notch way to end a phenomenal weekend.
Now I realize. I finally got to experience the divinity of Spiritual community. Nowhere in this broken world can a stranger walk up to you and know things about you no one else would know, and encourage you in places you most need to be encouraged. But that is how my Divine Maker does it. That is why just normal human community is not enough, but with God it's bigger than enough. Not only is it enough but it's delightful beyond measure.
God's dreams for us are tenfold times anything we could ever dream up for ourselves. Sometimes you have to die to yourself to let God get those dreams rolling, though. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm in Wheaton.
Instead I bit my tongue and smiled. Smile.
Joy, though, joy is there even in my unhappiness. It rests upon me and seeps through me. It's the joy from my Lord, and I thank Him times a million for it. He knows my every need, and He knows just how to provide what I need with impeccable timing.
This week I was supposed to be in Moab, Utah doing adventurous things feeding my soul in the ways I thought my soul needed feeding. I was going to be on the open road again pushing my body to new limits and feeling hella good about it. Then, something kind of crappy happened. I felt that tinge, that gut instinct which I actually now refer to as God (because, well, that's who puts that there) tell me not to go. No Moab! I couldn't wait to go to Moab. I love the desert, and I love riding my bike, and I love road trips and hostels and new people! Also, the man who quit money lives outside of Moab. Finding him may or may not have been on my list of things to do. Okay it was. I was going to stalk him like I stalk everyone who owns a Westy. I can't help myself. But I knew there was no stalking to be had ever sine I listened to that inkling and cancelled my Moab trip.
Pray for something else, God said. I think that's the first time (or at least the first time I realized) God nudging me to pray for something like that. I didn't hesitate. I prayed every day for something to take the place of Moab because I needed it. I desperately needed it.
A couple of weeks went by when Kimberly told me about at art conference called Story that she had been accepted to volunteer for in the city nestled right in those days I had requested off work for Moab. Kimberly couldn't make the conference happen even though she really wanted to, and worked it out to where I could volunteer for her and go to the conference for free.
Even when the day came, I hopped on the train to the city and settled into my hostel, I had no idea what I was doing. Ben Arment, the director of Story, had a little huddle with us all the night before the conference started to tell us a bit about how things were going to work. I listened very intently; I wasn't even sure what my job was on the day I started working it. What I ended up doing was one of the most life-giving things I could have been involved with at Story.
Story is an art conference for Christians. There are Christian speakers and the whole thing is centered around Christ and around art. I hesitate to say Christian art, though. I don't even think that's a thing. Actually, I can save that for another blog post. Everything was beautiful there. The artwork, the performers, the music. I cannot even begin to describe the artistry that went into creating this event. Every piece of it was for the glory of God, and I think that's a lot of what made it so beautiful to me.
Anne Lamott was there speaking, too! I love her books, her voice, her writing, her raw self. She's inspiring and she was there. That would be my highlight, I thought. Anne would be my highlight, and my hostel alone-time would be my highlight. The part in-between sessions where (this was my job) I had to try and connect with the people who came to Story alone was going to drain me too much. I was scared that I wouldn't come through and that I would be a disappointment to the team. So I prayed for God to fill me what what I needed to succeed in this place.
Wow, did He fill me. Remember how God knows exactly what we need and exactly how to fill that need with perfect timing? That is what happened in these three days I spend in Chicago. The speakers were not my highlight. The alone-time was not my highlight. My highlight was connecting with the beautiful people and the amazing minds of the people who came from around the WORLD to meet together in this place for Story. Finally I was surrounded by like-minded people. I had forgotten that God made me an artist, and while I was off trying to be an athlete He was begging me to remember that I am, yes, an athlete, but I am also so much an artist. He has been begging me to create.
But God doen't just fill you. No, He doen't stop at the fill line by any means. He looks at that fill line and says, "I can fit so much more in there, and then I'll just let it flood out". Floods. Floods of blessings.
The encouragement I received from Ben, the director, and the fellow volunteers at story gave me tears. The people I met gave me hope that there are others like me out there in a place where I have felt so alone.
And then Timbre. First of all, look her up. She's an amazing harpist and a beautiful soul. I met Timbre in line for ice cream at the end of the Story conference. We talked for a minute but I couldn't concentrate on what we were talking about; this thing inside me kept telling me to ask her something, but I felt stupid asking her out of the blue. I wanted to ask her if she knew anyone out in Seattle... so I did. I rattled off names of people I knew out there. I didn't know if this girl had ever been to Seattle, I didn't know if this girl would think I was joking when I started saying random travel names, but I took a chance and to my GREAT joy Timbre knew every person I named off and had traveled with them. Only a very dear person knows people with names like Okiedoke and Cricket. We have more friends in common than we realized. She and I were shocked and pleased and giddy with excitement about our connection. What a weird thing to happen.
We talked and talked, and suddenly Timbre asked if I had vivid dreams. Vivid dreams? Yes, actually, I often have vivid dreams. "Sarah," she said, "I feel like the Lord wants me to tell you a few things", so Timbre went on to give me encouragement in things she had no idea I was doubting myself in. She prayed for me in ways that no one would have known to pray for me in. She lifted me up in the spots that no one knew I felt most weak in. And she told me things that only God would know.
This is the truth: God speaks through us in art, in affection, in feelings, but also in words from other people. Prophets? Yeah, they're you and me. They're Timbre. They are the people who are open to God enough to hear what God has to say and bold enough to repeat it.
There are a lot of things that are uplifting and beautiful that you can find in the secular world. There are a lot of ways to feel blessed. But to be open to and living in God's spiritual world as well has got to be the most incredible thing. The way that Timbre came into my life at that time, and the things she said was truly only something God could have orchestrated. Even as you read this and think "that's cool" or maybe you think, "that's creepy", I don't know, I will never be able to express how deep a joy it gives me.
He knows the depths of your heart, and He knows just how to weave together a tapestry of experiences that please you in a way no one would understand. He wants to give you an experience that is specialized to you. It's frustrating for me in a way not to be able to get anyone to understand how much joy that interaction brought to me, but it also feels so special because it's one of those things that God only understands. It's between me and Him. It's our thing. Timbre won't even know the depths of what that moment did for me. That is something you don't get without a God. And when I get to experience those things I know there is Divinity at work around us all the time.
Mike and I walked in the dark, chilly, Chicago rain to our bus that would take us to the Metra. I just met Mike that day but I had the greatest four, five, six, however long it was that it took us to get from Park Church to the Suburbs via feet, bus, and train. It was a long time. Between singing DC Talk, quoting Homestarrunner, and experiencing the out-of-control homeless man throwing things at the windows from outside the station, it flew by too fast. What a top-notch way to end a phenomenal weekend.
Now I realize. I finally got to experience the divinity of Spiritual community. Nowhere in this broken world can a stranger walk up to you and know things about you no one else would know, and encourage you in places you most need to be encouraged. But that is how my Divine Maker does it. That is why just normal human community is not enough, but with God it's bigger than enough. Not only is it enough but it's delightful beyond measure.
God's dreams for us are tenfold times anything we could ever dream up for ourselves. Sometimes you have to die to yourself to let God get those dreams rolling, though. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm in Wheaton.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Let there be
Boy, am I technologically challenged. I know I've said it before. I've left it on voice messages without even knowing it. But today I realized just how technologically challenged I am.
I am at an art conference in Chicago called Story. It is here that realization came clear to me and my iPhone-less hand. How do you download an app? You can MAKE apps? How many people here are talking about making their own videos? You can do that? I can't even get the paragraph spacing right on my blog.
I will admit that this place has made me hate technology less. Okay. It's made me see that it's not all consumerism and bad. It can be used to glorify God in various art forms. Here it is used with glory and not glorified. There we go, a healthy balance indeed.
But that's not what I want to talk about. Kinda'.
I have written quite a few posts on this here technological machinery about God's creation, his artwork, and us as his greatest artwork. I have tried to convey the amount of joy he must find in us as his greatest piece of art. Think of your most prized work as an artist. Think of the fondness you feel towards that thing, and then think of how much more so God feels that towards us as this planet... this universe.
My feelings and thoughts towards this skyrocketed into a whole new level of understanding today as one of the speakers conveyed something at Story. Here's a little background on what he was trying to say-
We take thoughts and we can make them tangible. We can make them into things. We are the only species who can take a dream and make it a reality. The rabbit thinks "hungry" and eats some grass. Although I may never truly know what a rabbit is actually thinking, that is basically all that comes from his thoughts when he's hungry.
What about when we are hungry? The God-breathed, made-in-His-image species that the Lord created. It depends on what we're hungry for, but whatever it is we create it. We imagine, dream, think, conspire, and then create it. We make something that was once intangible into something great. Some of us make gourmet food for our physical hunger. Some of us create businesses or charity's because we want to see justice in the world. Some of us make sculptures or mosaics to speak from our own hearts to others hearts. And some of us write words. For what? Sometimes I still don't know. But if it's a God-given desire then dammit, I'm going to exercise that.
We are the only species with this gift. Yes, beavers build dams. Have you ever seen one of those things? They're amazing. But they all build dams. They do it out of instinct and they do it out of survival. Each and every one of the creations that come out of us is different. They are individualized to who we are. That's a hellofalot better than a beaver dam.
What an amazing, bountiful, inexplicable honor it is to have such a huge gift: Creativity. Look around you; creativity is God's thing, man. And look at how he did it? He spoke and said, "Let there be..", and there it was. He anointed us with that power- The minds for creativity and the power to say, "let it be".
That is an important and HUGE gift! Don't squander it. Don't bury it. And don't use it with mediocrity. Do not, I tell you, use it with mediocrity. Do you think the Lord did anything mediocre? Let's see, "That human kind of sucks, but he's good enough I guess. Eh, we'll keep him. Let it be". Sounds like God.
That's not the kind of Let It Be he gave us the power to use. That Let It Be gift he let us have is a gift that lets our passions be inside of us and around us, in both the intangible and tangible worlds. That is truly a mind-blowing conception.
Guys, create. That's all.
I am at an art conference in Chicago called Story. It is here that realization came clear to me and my iPhone-less hand. How do you download an app? You can MAKE apps? How many people here are talking about making their own videos? You can do that? I can't even get the paragraph spacing right on my blog.
I will admit that this place has made me hate technology less. Okay. It's made me see that it's not all consumerism and bad. It can be used to glorify God in various art forms. Here it is used with glory and not glorified. There we go, a healthy balance indeed.
But that's not what I want to talk about. Kinda'.
I have written quite a few posts on this here technological machinery about God's creation, his artwork, and us as his greatest artwork. I have tried to convey the amount of joy he must find in us as his greatest piece of art. Think of your most prized work as an artist. Think of the fondness you feel towards that thing, and then think of how much more so God feels that towards us as this planet... this universe.
My feelings and thoughts towards this skyrocketed into a whole new level of understanding today as one of the speakers conveyed something at Story. Here's a little background on what he was trying to say-
We take thoughts and we can make them tangible. We can make them into things. We are the only species who can take a dream and make it a reality. The rabbit thinks "hungry" and eats some grass. Although I may never truly know what a rabbit is actually thinking, that is basically all that comes from his thoughts when he's hungry.
What about when we are hungry? The God-breathed, made-in-His-image species that the Lord created. It depends on what we're hungry for, but whatever it is we create it. We imagine, dream, think, conspire, and then create it. We make something that was once intangible into something great. Some of us make gourmet food for our physical hunger. Some of us create businesses or charity's because we want to see justice in the world. Some of us make sculptures or mosaics to speak from our own hearts to others hearts. And some of us write words. For what? Sometimes I still don't know. But if it's a God-given desire then dammit, I'm going to exercise that.
We are the only species with this gift. Yes, beavers build dams. Have you ever seen one of those things? They're amazing. But they all build dams. They do it out of instinct and they do it out of survival. Each and every one of the creations that come out of us is different. They are individualized to who we are. That's a hellofalot better than a beaver dam.
What an amazing, bountiful, inexplicable honor it is to have such a huge gift: Creativity. Look around you; creativity is God's thing, man. And look at how he did it? He spoke and said, "Let there be..", and there it was. He anointed us with that power- The minds for creativity and the power to say, "let it be".
That is an important and HUGE gift! Don't squander it. Don't bury it. And don't use it with mediocrity. Do not, I tell you, use it with mediocrity. Do you think the Lord did anything mediocre? Let's see, "That human kind of sucks, but he's good enough I guess. Eh, we'll keep him. Let it be". Sounds like God.
That's not the kind of Let It Be he gave us the power to use. That Let It Be gift he let us have is a gift that lets our passions be inside of us and around us, in both the intangible and tangible worlds. That is truly a mind-blowing conception.
Guys, create. That's all.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Water saves. Water kills.
Let's take a moment here and think about some things. Statistics are easy to just pass by as statistics, but in this case why don't you read each one and let it sink in for a minute. Compare it to things, your life. Think hard.
-783 million people in the world do not have access to safe water. That's a lot of millions. Thats Seven hundred thirty eight.... million.
-5000 deaths a day occur from unsafe drinking water. That's about the size (a bit smaller) than the town of Estes Park in the winter months. Can you imagine the horror if an entire mountain town somewhere in the US was completely wiped out, dying because none of them had safe water to drink? And this happens daily.
-Water related diseases is the second biggest killer of children worldwide.
-Clean water in these places is to diarrhea as immunizations are to killer diseases. Water. WATER. They don't need scientists and doctors trying to help figure out how to save the millions of people who are effected by this. It's there. It's cover a majority of the planet. But it needs to get to them.
$20 can provide access one person to clean water in their village. Can you believe that? That's nothing. That's half of what a lot of us spend on gas. If someone walked up to you and sincerely, honestly told you that $20 would change their life forever in a way you could not imagine, would you give them twenty bucks? I so don't want to make this a guilt trip thing. Not my intention. I just want everyone to think about the impact of what we do, and what we CAN do.
I don't want to state a bunch of statistics without giving everyone a way to do something about it if they feel so inclined. So here's a way to do something about it:
http://www.charitywater.org/
-783 million people in the world do not have access to safe water. That's a lot of millions. Thats Seven hundred thirty eight.... million.
-5000 deaths a day occur from unsafe drinking water. That's about the size (a bit smaller) than the town of Estes Park in the winter months. Can you imagine the horror if an entire mountain town somewhere in the US was completely wiped out, dying because none of them had safe water to drink? And this happens daily.
-Water related diseases is the second biggest killer of children worldwide.
-Clean water in these places is to diarrhea as immunizations are to killer diseases. Water. WATER. They don't need scientists and doctors trying to help figure out how to save the millions of people who are effected by this. It's there. It's cover a majority of the planet. But it needs to get to them.
$20 can provide access one person to clean water in their village. Can you believe that? That's nothing. That's half of what a lot of us spend on gas. If someone walked up to you and sincerely, honestly told you that $20 would change their life forever in a way you could not imagine, would you give them twenty bucks? I so don't want to make this a guilt trip thing. Not my intention. I just want everyone to think about the impact of what we do, and what we CAN do.
I don't want to state a bunch of statistics without giving everyone a way to do something about it if they feel so inclined. So here's a way to do something about it:
http://www.charitywater.org/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)