Anxiety overcame my body upon the thought of signing back onto Facebook. Guys, life is really good without Facebook. Just sayin'.
I henceforth have decided to sign in but once a week. After-all, I do enjoy a little fix now and again. And I like ya'll.
What did happen upon that moment where I clicked that blue box marked, "sign in", on the Facebook home page? I was greeted with these things: Three new friend requests, three new messages, and thirty-eight new notifications. Thirty-eight is a big number to see in the teeny red space there. I should have counted how many of them were Farmville invites (seriously guys?) because they took up a very large majority of those notifications. Farmville? Really? I won't get started. Don't even get me started. Needless to say I missed out on absolutely nothing being off of Facebook for forty days. Actually, I did miss out on a birthday party for one my my sr. high girls at Rez. Super bummed to see that it was a facebook only invite. We should spread the love outside of social media.
Something I missed out on in another way was having people clickity click on my blog posts and read all my ramblings. There's just a nice bit of self satisfaction that settles in when the numbers of my readers jump after I post my latest post on Facebook. I've also noticed that my topics have changed for those forty days. I didn't even realize it until a few days ago. I seem to be writing to an audience that doesn't believe in quite the same things spiritually that I do when I am writing for Facebook. Without you all as my audience I write to no one but myself, the world, and the few people who I know end up read it anyway.
With the audience of Facebook I desire so deeply to spread the love of the God that I know to anyone I can reach.
This is the love of the God that I know.
Most of us know the story of Christ. Most of us know that Christians believe he was killed on a cross, put in a tomb, and then rose from the dead three days later thus saving all of us who choose to follow him from death. Weird story, I know. But what's the big deal other than the whole weird-factor?
Here's the big deal, guys. First of all try not to understand EVERYTHING right now. I know we like to be able to wrap our minds around facts and how things happen specifically and what not, and I don't minimize that. If that's something you want to think about, do, by all means. But for now set it aside and think about the relational part of all of this. Pretend. Kapish?
The God of the world, who created everything around you, and you yourself, has a broken heart for this place because He loves and cares for all of us. But we are imperfect and we do corrupt things sometimes because we do. I could delve deeper into that but I'm trying not to write a book here. How does the God of the world redeem us? How does a Father show is immense love for his children? He becomes human himself, he does the very thing that he was previously unable to do that we do... he dies. He walks the human life to pave a way and an example for us, because a kid without a parent to show rather than just tell is probably a lost kid.
The God of the world dies in the lowliest way. The man highest on the totem pole becomes the most humiliated man in the worst way because no one is too lowly for Him. No one is too broken for him, no one is too anything for Him. That's what He shows us, guys. He goes lower than all of that.
Then He dies. He sufferers immensely and dies at the hands of people who are still not too low for Christ, because no on is. Then, because He is the God of the world He resurrects. His body, his spirit, everything. He is still paving a way.
The Good Friday service at my church was filled with a sanctuary of mourning. We all dressed in black, the cross before us had black fabric draped over the arms, and then two members walked the cross around the congregation as we sat in silence. They lay the cross down on it's back on the stage and each person had a chance to go up, touch it, and pray. I sat there with not much going through my head. I sat there on my knees with my fingertips grazing over the rough wood in the center of this cross overwhelmed with the tears around me, the words being spoken aloud to the the Lord. I closed my eyes and wanted to feel something but I didn't feel anything. Quietly I asked to God, "What do I do?" and immediately I heard within me, "Nothing, look, I've already done it." That was a sense so powerful it brought me to laughter and to tears. It should speak to all of us, I hope. As I strive to prove myself, as I strive to work hard and remain a good and loving person in this world I grow weary. I have grown weary, and God reminds me that I don't need to try so hard all the time. He's already done all the hard work.
That is not to remove all responsibility from myself and from humanity. We do have tremendous responsibility. We are caretakers of this world and of the hearts around us. But above all of that, God is the most. He has done the hardest work of all. Because of that we know that the beauty in this world that we are working towards restoring, God will bring to completion. He shows us that in His resurrection.
I don't know enough about science to prove a God. I don't know enough. But I know what I have felt, and how I believe wholly there is a spiritual realm of this place we live in that captures my heart and wraps me up in a bigness that I can't quite describe. I know that there are mountains, and caves, and colors that come out of this Earth that, to me, show me beauty and show me a God that is creative. I know that I have watched both of my sisters grow children inside of the their own bodies and create a entirely new human! What a world we live in! What a beautiful place this is. How much greater I appreciate it when I know that it gets even better than this.
Easter has never quite meant so much to me as it does this season.
I have endless thoughts on this particular season of life. There's more to come.
Alleluia! Christ is risen! What a happy day. Oh my heart.
