I have always wanted this lifestyle. Tasting independence meant reading about, and finding people who live this way, and to be inspired and learn from them. I wanted to advocate, defend, pave a way, and make a story. I have had such far-reaching dreams but accompanied with the knowledge that they WEREN'T that far-reaching because I knew I could follow through with them. Call me a millennial if you will.
I did finally get to escape from my societal box and do so many of these things I had hoped for; I spent awhile begin a penniless nomad figuring my way out. This was not quite the type of radical I wanted to continue to live forever, but the kind that would help me to learn about myself and others around me. It did.
Something happened in those years, though. In a moment when I felt furthest from God is when I got the most evident call from him to uproot my adventurous life and put those short roots down to give them some water, and sun, and life. This was a really hard road for me.
There was a thing so deep inside me that desired to PROVE to everyone that I could be as radical as I had dreamed and spoken of. A way of saying, I don't just talk the talk, guys, but I walk the walk. It's a hard thing to lay that down and realize, a) that I was trying to prove something, and b) that I actually don't have to prove anything to anyone.
In my very desperate need to find some sort of belonging and adventure I prayed for God to guide me instead of taking these steps myself. THAT, you guys, has been a wonderful learning experience: to know that I don't have to have complete control over my life, but I have a God willing and wanting to help guide me.
But for years I've yearned and asked for God to lead me down a path towards a life of living radically. I've told God that I will go anywhere and do anything. I'll go to the ends of the earth and live with the fewest things, I'll sell everything I own (which I have done in hopes of beginning this journey). Doesn't this world need radical people to step outside of our boxes of comfort and do the messy, dirty, hard things that others don't want to do?
When I moved back to Illinois a couple of years ago, secretly somewhere inside of me I thought that I was there to be prepared in some way for the radical life I have always been so sure that I was supposed to be living. In between working full time and reading about my new-found love for all things Creation Care (environmentalist), I was trying to find a way to buy a tipi or a yurt along with possible land I could live off of in Illinois. "And how hard could it be?" would be my constant and naive though.
I've done my share of entree level research on all feasible ways to live off the grid. But in reality all I could do was ride my bike to work and back, and petition for a compost bin at my house. That's about as radical as my life got for those two and a half years living in Illinois.
Now here I am, working two jobs, one of which requires me using a time-clock, the other of which I am constantly staring into computer screen. I'm moving into a small house soon, acquiring all the furniture I possibly can to make my home cozy and welcoming. This is the furthest thing from radical I could image, but this is where I'll be for awhile.
Three years ago I would have cringed at the thought of this. Six or eight years ago I would have cringed at the thought of this. But you know, I asked God to take me out of my comfort zone, and here he did. Here he brought me to a life that resembles from the outside much of what a majority of peoples lives (in our society) look like from the outside. And that's okay, because I see how He has guided me, and has blessed me, and has fulfilled so many desires in my life. Not all of us have to live a life of grandiosity to make a difference in the world around us. When I think of this I am brought back to Mother Theresa again and she reminds me, “not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
That's where my life sits right now. I am young. I have plenty of time to do those great things, but maybe I won't. Maybe I will end up living in the same town for the rest of my life living in a house with a fence and a dog and a minivan. But the Lord has taught me that even what seems like the most mundane lives are still just as impactful and important as those of us who go into the Peace Corps or work for International Justice Mission.
We must do things with intentionality. We must pray. We must not forget the rest of those around the world who suffer just because there are those of us who are called to stay put right where we are. But know that right where you are is important too. Where you sit and live, where you eat your food, work, and take your dog for walks: Small things with great love.
I thank God for the radical or conventional life laid before me. Only the Lord knows, but with all things I will be thankful and live intentionally.
Something happened in those years, though. In a moment when I felt furthest from God is when I got the most evident call from him to uproot my adventurous life and put those short roots down to give them some water, and sun, and life. This was a really hard road for me.
There was a thing so deep inside me that desired to PROVE to everyone that I could be as radical as I had dreamed and spoken of. A way of saying, I don't just talk the talk, guys, but I walk the walk. It's a hard thing to lay that down and realize, a) that I was trying to prove something, and b) that I actually don't have to prove anything to anyone.
In my very desperate need to find some sort of belonging and adventure I prayed for God to guide me instead of taking these steps myself. THAT, you guys, has been a wonderful learning experience: to know that I don't have to have complete control over my life, but I have a God willing and wanting to help guide me.
But for years I've yearned and asked for God to lead me down a path towards a life of living radically. I've told God that I will go anywhere and do anything. I'll go to the ends of the earth and live with the fewest things, I'll sell everything I own (which I have done in hopes of beginning this journey). Doesn't this world need radical people to step outside of our boxes of comfort and do the messy, dirty, hard things that others don't want to do?
When I moved back to Illinois a couple of years ago, secretly somewhere inside of me I thought that I was there to be prepared in some way for the radical life I have always been so sure that I was supposed to be living. In between working full time and reading about my new-found love for all things Creation Care (environmentalist), I was trying to find a way to buy a tipi or a yurt along with possible land I could live off of in Illinois. "And how hard could it be?" would be my constant and naive though.
I've done my share of entree level research on all feasible ways to live off the grid. But in reality all I could do was ride my bike to work and back, and petition for a compost bin at my house. That's about as radical as my life got for those two and a half years living in Illinois.
Now here I am, working two jobs, one of which requires me using a time-clock, the other of which I am constantly staring into computer screen. I'm moving into a small house soon, acquiring all the furniture I possibly can to make my home cozy and welcoming. This is the furthest thing from radical I could image, but this is where I'll be for awhile.
Three years ago I would have cringed at the thought of this. Six or eight years ago I would have cringed at the thought of this. But you know, I asked God to take me out of my comfort zone, and here he did. Here he brought me to a life that resembles from the outside much of what a majority of peoples lives (in our society) look like from the outside. And that's okay, because I see how He has guided me, and has blessed me, and has fulfilled so many desires in my life. Not all of us have to live a life of grandiosity to make a difference in the world around us. When I think of this I am brought back to Mother Theresa again and she reminds me, “not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
That's where my life sits right now. I am young. I have plenty of time to do those great things, but maybe I won't. Maybe I will end up living in the same town for the rest of my life living in a house with a fence and a dog and a minivan. But the Lord has taught me that even what seems like the most mundane lives are still just as impactful and important as those of us who go into the Peace Corps or work for International Justice Mission.
We must do things with intentionality. We must pray. We must not forget the rest of those around the world who suffer just because there are those of us who are called to stay put right where we are. But know that right where you are is important too. Where you sit and live, where you eat your food, work, and take your dog for walks: Small things with great love.
I thank God for the radical or conventional life laid before me. Only the Lord knows, but with all things I will be thankful and live intentionally.
