This is not the point I'm trying to make, though.
Five minutes ago I clicked on this link: http://guyism.com/entertainment/tv/best-tampon-commercial-ever.html
Watch it. It's a commercial about tampons, but you're not expecting it to be a commercial about tampons when you start watching it. It's a handful of young adults showing us what it's like to do something "like a girl". It's a commercial for tampons but it's a commercial to get us as a people to think about what we're doing, thinking, saying because it can be damaging. It's more of a movement than a tampon commercial. Why does doing something like a girl have to be an insult? It shouldn't be an insult. Don't let it be an insult.
Although this is a good point, this is not my point either.
What I'm most interested in when I read or watch things like this is not always the content, but the comments. Our personal world get flatter and smaller as the world wide web grows larger. Everyone and their thoughts (and meals, thank you instagram) are right at our fingertips. If you scroll down on that link you'll see some of the following comments:
"Females have been SOARING past males in almost every category for the last 10 years or so. Better grades, higher graduation rates, etc. If ANY gender needs some company to come along and try to give them a morale boost, it's the BOYS, not the girls.
Count me as one of those who is sick and tired of women being treated like some kind of downtrodden and poor and helpless species, all the while American boys and men are slowly going down the cultural drain."
"Past ten years? You can go a lot further back than that my friend... it goes much deeper than the relatively recent uptick in college and graduate school numbers though. If you are interested in the cultural view of men, you can look at television, movies, radio programs, and theater going back a very long time... men are, on balance, portrayed very poorly (sneaks, drunkards, liars, foolish, reckless, dangerous, etc)... look at death rates for a much more grim picture... men have always died earlier and more often than women doing the most dangerous jobs any society has ever had..."
First I got really mad at these people. Then I got sad for them. Then I got upset with everyone. This is one emotional roller-coaser that I don't know how to reconcile with.
While the first poster may be rather insensitive, how can I be upset with a man who feels that his entire gender is being pushed "down the cultural drain"? That's a huge weight and sadness to feel. I don't think we should be upset with him. I think we need to reconcile the male/female relationship in our culture. Why is it such a fine line?
I am no sociologist. I am just a woman who loves my femininity and finds strength in it, hoping others can feel the same in their own gender. So let me hash this out really quick:
Women have been the "lesser" gender for so long, so to speak. We are rising up in a lot of ways. Some are rising up out of anger, some out of pride, some out of love. It's great, and beautiful, and exciting for women! But I can't help but feel that we shouldn't rise up alone. Men and women are still a part of the same species. Masculine and feminine are interconnected and dependent on one another in a lot of ways. They compliment one another (and I'm not talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about it IN GENERAL). There's nothing weak or bad about this. It's a beautiful, symbiotic relationship. That's what it's supposed to be: a symbiotic relationship.
Women and men.... we NEED to hear more things like this commercial telling us that being a woman, and doing things "like a girl" are not bad. We need to feel strong in our abilities and voices and opinions because we are women, and human, and worth those things. But we cannot, should not, be putting down men in the process. We should not be telling ourselves we are better than men. Nor should we be trying to be like men. We should not be portraying men as "sneaks, drunkards, liars, foolish" in our society. We need to realize that when we put down the opposite gender, we put down our own gender in the process. We need to find the balance and find the harmony between male and female. Just because we let men be strong, doesn't mean we have to make women weak. Feminism should be humanism. It shouldn't favor one over the other. It should speak highly and with pride of each of these beautiful genders we have.
Let me point out that I don't think the video is putting down men in any way. I think it's a great video. But it was the comments I read after that got me going. I have seen too many things trying to build up women that put down men while doing so. It's STILL sexism. It's counterproductive. And on the flip side, if we're trying to build up men let's not put down women in the process.
I think the only way we can do this is if we stop trying to stand unified only within our own gender to be strong. Stop being a pillar of one gender or another. Be proud in your masculinity, be proud in your femininity, and realize that we are dependent on the other. Dependence is not weakness. Dependence is not frailty. Dependence gives us far greater strength than a single pillar can.
